I recently have been thinking of a scene from one of my favorite movies, Juno. Juno has this fantasy that Mark and Vanessa are perfect and when they split up she is crushed. She questions love and talks with her father about whether people can be happy together.
I have thought of it because I have wondered the same thing recently. Every once in a while I am surprised by another dissolved marriage or heartbreaking family split. Sometimes it isn't so surprising and other times I have almost felt that feeling Juno is trying to portray. Couples that have been married for many years, raised families together, and then suddenly are at a point that is not worth working for? I guess I just don't understand it. I, obviously, have never been there and I will be damned if I ever am. The biggest example of this was my own parents. While I never thought they were perfect, I never quite understood how you could be with someone for 20+ years, have 3 children, and be so happy that you literally walk away from it all. I get pretty unhappy with the frustrations of life at times, but I can never even imagine being that unhappy, or stupid.
I heard of another marriage dissolving yesterday. A young couple, no children, and as she said, clean break. The reasoning seemed lousy and predictable, but also things that should be worked upon, not simply given up on. The word commitment has little value to the world today, especially in the younger population. In front of God and everybody, make a commitment to each other for life, and then walk away because you fight when one of you won't take out the trash. I know there's more to it than that, but nothing that a little communication and self-less-ness couldn't correct in time.
When you really love someone, then you love them when they won't take out the trash though you've asked. You talk to them, you fight through anything, no matter how big or how small. You fight for the commitment you've made to each other and you find the things that made you fall in love in the first place. There are a very few things on the list that would cause me to desire a divorce. Both things I could truly and honestly never envision happening. Jacob would not cheat on me, and he would never hit me (or anyone for that matter.) If either of these things happened I would literally die of a heart attack and shock right on the spot. It just would never happen, I don't care what anyone has to say about it. Short of those two things, there is not anything I will not fight through. I am just as happy, if not more so, in my marriage today that I was 8 years ago as we planned the ceremony. We have been through A LOT in 8 years and we have never once stopped being a team. Maybe that's why I don't understand. I have a husband who is just as committed to me, as I am to him, and he genuinely loves me. What a great feeling to have.