tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-66064398415492715952024-03-12T20:34:39.715-04:00Just keep swimming...TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.comBlogger260125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-54816476297490728392016-07-07T04:39:00.000-04:002016-07-07T05:10:08.063-04:00#BlackLivesMatter<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I've literally run out of fucking words.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I want to say something meaningful. I want to say something helpful. I want to say something. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Anything at all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have no fucking words.
Just anger, and sadness, and exasperation at the fact that we apparently can't go a single fucking day without shooting a black person dead in the street. I don't care if he had a concealed weapon. I don't care if he had weed in his car, which in legal in some places by the way, so there's that. I don't care if he ends up having a rap sheet a mile long. He, and so many others, don't get to tell their side of the stories or even get the option of a fair, just trial, not that I really believe that is a thing. You know why? Because they're dead. At the hands of police officers. For being black. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I mean, sure he probably (maybe?) wasn't like "oh, a black person, I think I'll go kill him" But how many black males get pulled over everyday for driving while black. A shit ton, that's how many.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Don't try to feed me your bullshit that it isn't about race. In 14 years of driving, I've never once even been pulled over. One of my cars currently has expired plates. Never been pulled over. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Let that sink in. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So maybe I have some words. But none of them are good. I never know all the facts in these stories. I don't want to offend people (and by people of course, I mean my black friends) or say the wrong thing and come off high and mighty in my comfy white world so I keep my mouth shut. I fill with anger and hate that I'm not entitled to and I stay quiet, but I'm tired of being silent. I am tired of the excuses and the skewed perspective and the "well he shouldn't have..." justification bullshit. I'm tired. And if I'M tired, I can only pretend to imagine what the black community is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am appalled and ashamed and horrified at what we, as people, have become, or rather at what we have persisted to be. In 1963, MLK said that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. That whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Anyone who lives here in the country cannot be considered an outsider inside it's boundaries. Now days we teach that letter from Birmingham jail and it's considered our history, but is it really? Injustice is still injustice no matter how you paint it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We are all a part of the history that is being written as I type. You don't get to pretend this shit isn't still real. That it isn't happening daily because you choose not to notice. It's out of hand and unless we stop looking the other way it is never, ever going to stop.
Thoughts and prayers are fine. I'm down with that too. But maybe, just maybe, it's time to get off our asses and actually do something. So you can turn and look away or you can stand up and shout. You know my ass can be loud.</span><br />
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<br />TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-38270433835810769152015-10-27T21:35:00.001-04:002015-10-28T16:03:53.382-04:00Wordless Wednesday - Happy Halloween<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIh4sqldNe6ZoARKxT40H8ncJmpRqCetA-c4pwIn4zcbeFY9SD_C_nD4IBlQ-VxcqdLmdFcfdHOx0hRuzliswtC1q-l6ZtaPOP52jMZeUP2k49CV7U9ih0Qdtnjn3PfKZfVxJj0qEQ2e4/s640/blogger-image--87474670.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIh4sqldNe6ZoARKxT40H8ncJmpRqCetA-c4pwIn4zcbeFY9SD_C_nD4IBlQ-VxcqdLmdFcfdHOx0hRuzliswtC1q-l6ZtaPOP52jMZeUP2k49CV7U9ih0Qdtnjn3PfKZfVxJj0qEQ2e4/s640/blogger-image--87474670.jpg"></a></div>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-77384596365253515042015-10-14T01:59:00.001-04:002015-10-14T01:59:46.041-04:00Wordless Wednesday<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWN-wKNwD94xqK9-CEK1tyWwIkAGjpKrVnJXkIwD-Iq7wmlYidN_BNz2tKkI_0hrt6qRnKUJOgZJjLSRXwegaOUMlin3e1E_resz48FsCE-ozmfK5fPLvscDi3OJ09SbmLJG7U5d4q8lw/s640/blogger-image--1077587734.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWN-wKNwD94xqK9-CEK1tyWwIkAGjpKrVnJXkIwD-Iq7wmlYidN_BNz2tKkI_0hrt6qRnKUJOgZJjLSRXwegaOUMlin3e1E_resz48FsCE-ozmfK5fPLvscDi3OJ09SbmLJG7U5d4q8lw/s640/blogger-image--1077587734.jpg"></a></div>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-76247998010901664282015-01-13T07:00:00.000-05:002015-01-13T07:00:08.001-05:00Take Me Back Tuesday - Luci<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: purple; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One week until this gorgeous girl turns 6!</span></div>
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Luci, Age 2</div>
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TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-24101795865548992432015-01-07T08:00:00.000-05:002015-01-07T08:00:06.385-05:00Wordless Wednesday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-52077076452352515592015-01-06T09:00:00.000-05:002015-01-06T09:00:02.062-05:00Take Me Back Tuesday - Old friends<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Luci is turning 6 in a few weeks. Thought I would share a couple pictures of my sweet girl with one of her dearest lifelong friends.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Luci and Evyn in the nursery at Daycare.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Luci and Evyn last summer at Kings Island.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These two are forever friends.</span></div>
<br />TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-14410902508065142015-01-05T23:00:00.000-05:002015-01-06T02:50:38.012-05:00'ello 2015<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What's up nerds.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Been a long time. Whole year actually. Sorry for that. Been busy with sitting around doing nothing. Well, mostly. Some other stuff like five kids, a job, and nursing school might have also gotten in the way. Who knows.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So it's 2015 now. I am happy to announce that have already managed to write the date several times without having to change a 4 to a 5. At. All. Not even once. So that's a first. Shoulda made that my resolution now that I think about it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Seriously though, not much to say just felt like dusting off this old machine and typing up some nonsense. The kids are great. Jake is great. I'm great. We're all great. Updated the banner above with some family photos we had taken in November. The old one Charlie still didn't have teeth, so I figured it was time since she's 3 now. The photos were done by J. Turow Photography, a good friend of mine. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/jturowphotography" target="_blank">Click here </a>and like her Facebook page, then tell all of your friends.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kids went back to school today. Winter break seemed a lot shorter this year. I think because we actually did something other than sit around for 3 weeks. Took a few days to Jake's family's hometown between holidays. Sadly it was for a funeral, but we had a great time nonetheless. Got to meet a lot of family I had only ever heard about, and they got to visit with a whole lot of children. It was a win win. We ate food from restaurants a lot. Also a win. We found BBQ Fritos* at a Walmart in Elizabethton, TN. I am telling you, the trip was a win.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>(*They, for some reason, do not sell the delicious, best chip ever made, at any store in Indianapolis. If you ever find that they do, I should be the first person you call. That is an order, friends.)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I go back to school next week. So, yeah. Enjoying this last week of whatever it is I'll be doing. (Watching a lot of Doctor Who.) Last semester was pure hell, so hoping it will be better than that. I mean, it can't really be worse, so that's hopeful. On another note, I graduate this year. That's right, the year of graduation. In December, but still, <i>this year</i>. THIS. YEAR. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am a little excited if you can't tell. Ready to be done with school and into the workforce... wait. what?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On NYE, with a twinkle in my eye, I said to Jacob, "just think next year this will be so different and exciting for us. I'll be a nurse, we'll both be successful, and it will be like the start of a new life for our beautiful family." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">or something like that anyway. All I remember is him replying, "Well, I mean <i>technically </i>you won't be a nurse yet, you'll have to take that test in January and hope you pass." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks. Dream crusher. Like I passively forgot about the NCLEX. geesh.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jake is a full time "regular" mailman now. Don't ask me what that means because the postal service is asinine and it would take too much work to explain. BUT he actually gets a day off and benefits and everything so that's pretty cool. He seems happy with it anyway. I don't really see how considering it's snowing like Antarctica as I type and he'll be walking around all day tomorrow freezing to death in it. I'd rather shoot myself in the foot. He doesn't complain though. I suppose the faces he makes when I tell hospital stories means the feelings about job role reversal are mutual. We're polar opposites, but somehow we work. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love that man.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hoping to write more, hoping to have the time to. If you don't hear from me for another year, just think, you'll be hearing from a nurse. </span>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-78735847028887313272013-12-27T12:55:00.003-05:002013-12-27T12:55:53.185-05:00Ballin' on a budgetSpending some time on this last Friday of 2013 thinking about some ways to get better organized before school starts back up. With Jake working all hours of the week, me being in nursing school and starting my new job at the hospital and the kids being in school and daycare... well, I may die if we don't get better at organization. Maybe it is my OCD, maybe it is just the inability to function any longer in what I affectionately refer to as my organized chaos. Either way, I am going to schedule every detail of our lives that I possibly can, to make the crazy, unscheduled parts slightly more bearable.<br />
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My first go-to when trying to figure out how to do something new is not the wonderful critical thinking skills I keep locked away in the back of my brain. It is Google. Google knows everything. I mean seriously, you can Google anything and you will get a billion responses. I love Google and Google loves me and if I could, I would marry it. That being said, Google has not come through for me this time. There are simply not a lot of resources out there when you Google things like "Large family organization," or "Meals for large families on a budget."<br />
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I would think that in this day in age where I can sit and type this ridiculous blog of mine, there would be some other crazy lady out there with a litter of kids doing the same thing. The only things I can find are from women who either a.) have waaaaaay more money than I do and live in a furniture catalog/movie set or b.) Have many children, but only blog about homeschooling and feeding the chickens. Nothing wrong with either of those things, they just don't apply here.<br />
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The meal planning blogs I find are all filled with ideas for things like 'Salmon Salad with Parsley and Capers' or 'Spinach Infused Penne Pasta with Ricotta Cheese.' Sure they're probably decent and healthy options, but what kid is really going to eat that crap? and I don't even know what the hell a Caper is. Can I buy them at Aldi, because if I can't, it ain't gonna happen.<br />
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I need some direction on how to be a real life, ballin' on a budget, inner city mom of 5 picky ass kiddos.<br />
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So, I guess I will create my own. I am going to unlock my critical thinking box, bring it to the front of my brain, and let it loose. Today I am working on a menu plan and I hope to find the time to share my findings and ideas here on my blog so that other real life, middle class, working moms can have a good search return when they go to Google.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-82678672735101547512013-12-04T22:43:00.002-05:002013-12-04T22:43:37.076-05:00It's beginning to look a lot like....<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Well, it's December and you know what that means... time for my annual "I'm a grinch, I hate the holidays" blog post. Aren't you excited?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanksgiving was really good this year. I only had brief moments of wanting to kill myself. Much better than the usual 28 hours. You know, because the 4 hours leading up to the impending doom of turkey day are also plain awful. I don't know. Just roll with it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here is my problem. I grew up hating holidays. When I say grew up, I mean like age 12 and up. Could have been sooner, but when you're 8 all you care about is presents and candy, so it probably wasn't that bad yet. Year after year was just torture. Listening to my parents complain and argue. Visiting people I hadn't seen since the last time we ate ham together and they made judgmental comments that weren't meant to offend but always did. Driving through snow and cold and sitting in a corner for hours because I never felt like I belonged with these people. I hate the pressure of the holidays. Buying gifts for people you barely know. Being forced to open gifts in front of everyone and pretending to like their presents to you, but you actually don't. Okay, not always, but don't act like its never happened to you. When I got married it got so much better. I was not forced to spend the holidays as grumpy as my family always was. I was not forced to drive anywhere. I was not forced to do anything. Yet, here I sit, still as grumpy as ever. It was ingrained in me. It is a hard thing to change the way you've been for 28 years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know I am 29, I don't count the first year. Seriously, how grumpy can a baby be?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It is also a hard time for me to be happy. Everyone surrounded by loved ones, going on and on about family. I have a great family, but the supposed-to-be happiness only serves as a reminder of what I don't have. Poor me. I know. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now that I have kids and a family of my own, I know I have to stop this craziness. I have a chance for all new traditions and memories and experiences. Of course, I exaggerate a little when I talk about being a grinch. It isn't like I walk around sulking the entire month of December, but inside me the feeling are still there. I don't enjoy the holidays the way you're supposed to. I just go through the motions. I am happy when my kids are happy. I have found new ways to make them enjoy the holidays and that is a lot of fun. I am slowly, slowly getting there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">When my parents left, and dad later died, it left a hole. A hole that is often filled with hatred at certain times. Times that are supposed to be about family are always slightly ruined by my hole. I have filled that hole with many feelings, lots of prozac, and enough food to feed a small village, but there it stays. I suppose it always will. I mean, what kind of person gets over their mom just leaving them? I guess it is somewhat normal. I have been told that I have a family and I should be grateful for that, and not dwell on the past. Well, kind-hearted person who has never been abandoned, it isn't that easy. Some days I just want to have a mom. I want to be close to someone and call them when I have good news or call them when I am sad and need a friend. Hang out with them and go to lunch, or whatever else moms and daughters do. Some days I want a real relationship with people who share my blood and not some half-assed 'we-get-along-but-none-of-us-know-how-to-communicate,' because what the hell is communication?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have been blessed by so many people in my life. My in-laws who would do anything in the world for us. Friends at church that I know would do the same. My "mom" Angie, who loves me unconditionally, and even lets me call her and cry when I need a friend. My friend Jessica who is like a sister to me. I don't know what I would do without her. My dearest Tricia. An unlikely friendship, yet the best I think I have ever had. A text at 3am always gets a response, because neither of us ever sleep. She always knows how to fix me in every way, because she's just that good. Or maybe because she's a lot like me. My husband and my kids. Love like I could never have imagined. What a cliche thing to say, but seriously. When you grow up feeling like a burden, you don't get to experience what unconditional love feels like. They have shown me the power of love in ways that I never thought were possible. These kids... wow. They wear me out every single day, but I make sure to always hold them tight and say I love you. I don't ever want them to wonder if I do. I know I have amazing people in my life. I am trying to get better at acknowledging them and that they are real and do love me for me. I am trying to fill my hole with new, happy memories and experiences. I am thankful for the people who are, mostly unknowingly, helping me to do that. And with that, maybe I will be a little less grinchy this year. We'll see.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-84343326405187013182013-10-11T21:38:00.002-04:002013-10-11T21:38:53.878-04:00It was a long summer...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fall is here. My very favorite time of year. I am always so, so happy to see summer disappear. This year, that could not be more true. I will not embellish the details, but this was the longest summer of my life. Full of pain and heartache and lots of sunshine. I am glad to see it go.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Things are mostly getting back to normal around here. There are "those days" sometimes, but I have a feeling there will always be "those days." At least for a good while. I am happy that those days are turning more and more just into "those hours" or "those moments." Much improvement from "those weeks."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know you don't follow. It's okay. Just know, in short, things are getting better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I am learning to love myself. I am learning to take every day as a new day. I am learning to be content with what surrounds me. These things are so much harder than anything I am learning in school. Thankful there is no exam over my life. I would, without a doubt, fail.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Fall break is upon us, and so is Exam #2, in this hell we call nursing school. The semester is half way over. I have straight A's so far. Or whatever you call it when you're taking two classes. I feel like this is where I should enter things about all the hard work and effort I am putting into school. How much homework and studying I am doing. How stressful nursing school is or whatever. Whelp. Hate me all you want, I am doing exactly none of those things. I have yet to read an entire chapter of the book. I listen to lectures and take notes. That's about it. Even missed a couple of those. I have studied a combined total of about 8 hours this semester. For both classes. Maybe. Possible overestimation. Seriously. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I never get to throw it in anyone's face or enjoy being smart. It's kind of a rotten thing to do, I guess. I get the "we hate you" look often, as though I can help that I naturally don't have to study, already have a medical degree, and have lots of experience with a weird family medical history. Whatever. I'll enjoy being able to do whatever I want all week, study a couple of hours on Thursday and still get the best grade in the class.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I think I am officially in a bitchy mood. Bring on the rest of Friday night.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-66206540837025863332013-05-28T14:57:00.002-04:002013-05-28T14:57:52.860-04:00It is real<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am positive there are people in the world that think depression isn't real. They think you can just "snap out of it." There are others who think it is all about them. "You can't possibly be unhappy for no reason at all, so you must hate me." Also, not even close.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A truly depressed person could literally have it all, look around, and be sad inside. Trust me, I know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">More than 19 million people suffer from clinical depression in the United States. That's 1 in 10. That statistic drops to 1 in 8 when we're talking about just women. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have suffered from depression and anxiety disorder since I was 15 years old. That's almost half of my life. I have attempted suicide once, thought about it much more. I have turned to drugs. I have turned to alcohol. I have seen several therapists and been on many medications. There have been so many times when I have told myself to just snap out of it. Mental illness is one of the hardest things to understand.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My anxiety has been under control pretty well for the last few years. I have learned techniques to cope and use music. I know what a panic attack is and can deal so much better. The depression, on the other hand, sneaks up when I am not looking and takes over. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This year has been absolutely life changing. I have gotten to do some awesome things, and just the same I have done some really, really stupid things. I have broken hearts and lost credibility. I won't play the victim, because I am not, but it has been an emotional roller coaster and gigantic mess. I am trying to work through thoughts and heartache. Trying to rebuild and recover. It's just not that easy for me and I while I know that it is hard to understand. I just wish people would pick up a book or an internet article and try to.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-86742360906768118402013-05-28T02:10:00.001-04:002013-05-28T02:10:33.343-04:00Eventually you'll see meWhen you're a wife and a mother you come last. You just do. It is the rule. It is stated right in that little instruction book you get at those milestones in your life. Oh... wait.<br />
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I am tired of being last, and I feel terrible about it. It turns out when you're a wife and a mother, you also feel guilty and selfish anytime you actually think about yourself. At least I do. Maybe I am just crazy.<br /><br />I am tired of being last. I am tired of working all hours of the day taking care of everyone and everything only to be reminded that I don't <i>actually</i> work. I am tired of being ignored and smothered all at the same time. I am tired of being unappreciated. I am tired of being surrounded by humans and always feeling alone. Tired of being misunderstood. Most of all, I am just tired. Worn down to the nub.<br />
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I hear of mothers or fathers who have left and run away and I think to myself, "how awful," and then I think about how jealous I am. What a terrible feeling. Like you can never, ever get away. Like there is no end in sight. Like this life will never change and the only option is to abandon it. I, and most, could never do that, but who as a mother does not simply understand it?<br /><br />The other option is to change it. I'm finding that change just feels like a band-aid that lasts a couple of weeks and then slowly peels away from the skin. It needs to feel like something more permanent. Something that will reconcile, and not just temporarily cover the problem.<br />
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A final consideration is just that I am the problem. I push people away. I'm indecisive and pessimistic. I want things I can't have, and I don't want things that are perfect for me. I work hard, and yet not hard enough. I am motivated and lazy. I am sad and lonely and have wonderful things in my life that others would kill for. It is no secret that I am fucked up in the head. Am I finally going to destroy the only thing that has ever been stable in my life. I guess it was bound to happen eventually. Patience and understanding can only get you so far. Eventually you'll see me. and you'll run like you should have before all the baggage.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-29730625951658657142013-05-12T20:57:00.000-04:002013-05-12T20:57:47.896-04:00Happy Birthday Charlotte!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhAD7Th_8JSZ9o4OMlF5Hgzjgpz-YyNTuJrkUQAQ6gWXFacy_EkNMfc3E21wiyB_tzlV1HFBwjZ-rKdhkXGryWuQLVOvWHp1jTqu4oAllzMkB2v5XdtARTgTclVmo9WzY3GFro2cla6ZI/s1600/DSCN0099.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhAD7Th_8JSZ9o4OMlF5Hgzjgpz-YyNTuJrkUQAQ6gWXFacy_EkNMfc3E21wiyB_tzlV1HFBwjZ-rKdhkXGryWuQLVOvWHp1jTqu4oAllzMkB2v5XdtARTgTclVmo9WzY3GFro2cla6ZI/s320/DSCN0099.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two years ago today at 4:47am, I woke up in labor. Shortly after, my water broke, green was not a great sign for our plans. We hopped in the car to head to the hospital, and you tried to come in the passenger seat of our Honda. After the longest 10 minute walk of my life, you were born perfectly and posterior in a triage bed at 6:23am. You were 7 lbs 8 oz and 21 inches long. Perfect in every way!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being my fifth birth, you'd think it would be routine, second nature, same old scene. Of course it wasn't. There is nothing more miraculous than that moment when you bring another part of you into the world. Just when you think you can't possibly love anyone else with the same passion you already give, there they are, and somehow you love them just the same.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvBTEReCp1N9mzBSaoR_8iOOoVXpZDUJ3FYFFrG9VrTdLfbpD2x8cM8c-m5H8ZloLTFTq1q2fw3B5RVyGlA7NpfA5cJKaB7OTQsT5Np92rz99lO71gf34euM9OK1onozaObDh1IfkLqSE/s1600/DSCN0135.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcNtL-ay9W5xvp8-ITWcTVsHoKls04U7HU1Ec831Bsop0H_hW8y9s8K1nJCJ1iKu8faRWKRPvP7Dj4FBpwJLesjwZq4ug4la22IpPwXHMTP9VtUsXDMcBfCppr3iFXLdSBqJXp9DzLFQE/s1600/IMG_3215.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcNtL-ay9W5xvp8-ITWcTVsHoKls04U7HU1Ec831Bsop0H_hW8y9s8K1nJCJ1iKu8faRWKRPvP7Dj4FBpwJLesjwZq4ug4la22IpPwXHMTP9VtUsXDMcBfCppr3iFXLdSBqJXp9DzLFQE/s320/IMG_3215.JPG" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't wait to watch you grow into the beautiful woman I know you will be. Happy 2nd Birthday to my beautiful, sweet, silly, loving Charlotte Johannah!</span></div>
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<br />TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-21593538788049075602013-02-25T09:44:00.000-05:002013-02-25T09:44:27.681-05:00Week SevenGearing up for week seven of this hell we call nursing school. Spring break is next week Woot!<br />
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Unfortunately, they are rewarding us with our second exam on Friday. I guess all the more reason to be thankful for Spring Break to start. I will be spending so much time in the library this week I may need to have my mail forwarded. I'll keep you posted.<br />
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I have no plans for break and the kids' break is different. Good and bad... I will get semi peace and quiet while I am home, but I will have to get up every morning and take them to school... so win-lose? I am taking Sophia to the Chris Tomlin concert on Friday. She still doesn't know, I am very excited to see her face when we get there. I imagine I will be spending the rest of my "break" getting my house in tip top shape to sell. Yep. More on that later.<br />
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I am doing well in my classes. I am enjoying school a lot more than I make it sound. Is it a lot? Sure. Is it mostly BS we will never even use? Probably. Do I sometimes want to punch myself in the face while reading chapter after chapter of the most dull stuff you can imagine? Definitely.<br />
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I am having a hard time finding myself though. I feel like I am living in two separate worlds. College life and home life. Balancing the two is a challenge. Actually having people I like and want to spend time with... well that's an insane thought to me. Yes, I said people I like. I know it's hard to believe. Sometimes I feel like I missed the window of college life though, and have too many responsibilities. The other part of me is happy. Like give-up-the-Prozac-if-I-wasn't-a-nursing-student happy. So, I guess I will have to let it ride and see where the journey takes me. In the end, I am here for my family and future women and babies I will care for. Eye on the prize.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-72393851008187002182013-02-14T11:38:00.001-05:002013-02-14T11:38:10.998-05:00February UpdateNo updates since school started? I wonder why?<br />
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Oh yeah, I don't have time to breathe, let alone blog!<br />
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Holy crap, nursing school, how you sucketh.<br />
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Seriously.<br />
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Like, the first week this lady came in to talk to us and was all "Look around, these are the only people who know what you're going through, make friends with each other." Yep, she was right. I can't possibly make anyone out there understand the hell I am in right now.<br />
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All that being said, I love it. In a way. Ok. in a lot of ways.<br />
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I know. I am crazy. If you have read any other entries of this blog you already know that so carry on.<br />
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I have met some awesome people and thankful that I get to share the next 2 years with them. That lady was right, it is great to have a support system who knows right where you are, and you can support them right back.<br />
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Thus far nothing has been too difficult. Haven't failed anything (knock on wood), so that is a plus. Definitely feeling like my 3.8 GPA is in jeopardy, but as long I keep my scholarship and graduate, I am trying not to worry about it. There is a TON of busy work that we have to do. The syllabuses (syllabi?) are bigger than some text books I have had, but I am learning to navigate them. There is a lot of group work, and as much as I super duper hate group work, I somehow lucked out majorly! I have the best group for both classes. Maybe everyone feels that way about their groups, but anyone who knows how much I don't like people knows that this is huge for me.<br />
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We had to volunteer at a food bank for our nutrition class. My group went to <a href="http://gleaners.org/" target="_blank">Gleaners Food Bank</a> here in Indy. Wow. What a place! I am making plans to go back after the semester and volunteer with Sophia. It is amazing the work they do and how efficient and organized it is. If you are local and looking for a place to volunteer, I highly suggest contacting Gleaners.<br />
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The kids are all doing great. Sophia didn't end up needing surgery quite yet. ENT is watching her hearing and letting the hole ride with the option of fixing it sometime or never. As long as we can remember the ear plugs this summer I am cool with not shelling out the $$ for surgery. We've been in norovirus hell off and on since Christmas break. Mostly my little runt, Luci. She has a double ear infection right now, hoping that is the last we see of sickness this winter. Jacob's job is a little sketchy right now, but he is actively looking for something else. He's been with this company pretty much ever since we've been married, the unknown in scary, but exciting too. He has an interview next week and we are praying it all works out in the end. So far all of my "resolutions" are holding up. Sophia and I are the only ones who are still exclusively GF, but I think that's okay for now. There are still times that I cheat, but it is less and less and I am feeling a lot better. Sophia is still having a lot of headaches, but I have a feeling she cheats more than me when I am not looking. :) My new goal is to be 30 pounds lighter by the end of the year, so we shall see how that goes.<br />
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Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. This year I gave up Facebook. The amount of time I spent on Facebook was a little embarrassing. So I have given it up for 40 days. I will admit it has already been hard and that is quite pathetic. Expect to see more from me here as I seek an online outlet until Easter.<br />
(Also, I know this will automatically post to my FB account, so anyone who thinks I am cheating, I am not!)<br />
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I think that is all for now, Happy Valentine's Day everyone!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-21064407665647324912013-01-05T15:45:00.002-05:002013-01-05T15:45:53.573-05:00Rik Smits GF Crackers<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I mentioned in my last post about my new bible. Well, second to my <i>actual </i>Bible, but a <b>really</b> close second right now. <a href="http://glutenfreeonashoestring.com/" target="_blank">Gluten Free on a Shoestring</a> is saving my life right now. She has taken so much time to really get her recipes right and for that, I am much obliged. I am so excited about almost every single thing on her site and in her book, that I wish I could make them all at once and also have them turn out just as beautiful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We know I don't have time for that. Nor the kitchen skills. For now I will be taking it slowly, starting with the things we will miss the most, that are the hardest to replace. So far, every store bought GF cracker I have tried, with the exception of Glutino, has tasted like cardboard. Glutino was a decent replacement, but much too expensive to be a staple. Also, a really odd size for a saltine-like cracker. "Here is your palm sized peanut butter cracker dear." Um, no.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today I tried Nicole's <a href="http://glutenfreeonashoestring.com/ritz-schmitz-have-a-cracker/" target="_blank">Ritz Schmitz </a>crackers. I thought they would be perfect to replace our peanut butter cracker snacks. I was not wrong. I have not tried one with peanut butter yet, but oh. my. cracker. They are good. Just plain. Yum. Jacob saw the recipe on the counter and thought it said Rik Smits Crackers, thus it's new forever name here at the Bowling house. Cuz' I will definitely be making these again. and again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They taste VERY similar to Ritz Crackers. Color me impressed. For the record, I can't cook worth beans, so it is definitely her recipe. That I followed. To a tee.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know my crackers are not as pretty, and for that we will blame my camera phone. Not the uneven holes or anything else that could be my fault.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">**Disclaimer: I was not compensated in any way for raving about Gluten Free on a Shoestring. I do not know Nicole Hann, nor have I ever corresponded with her. I just have a very strong opinion that her wisdom is freaking awesome!</span></div>
TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-88140777261747113662013-01-02T16:02:00.002-05:002013-01-02T16:02:55.400-05:00New Years Resolutions 2013I am not really a New Year's resolution kind of gal. I barely have time to shower every day, let alone sit around and think about things I am going to change and then give up on January 7th.<br />
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This year is a little different for our family. Technically, our life change just happens to fall at the beginning of the year, but we'll go with the whole resolution thing because then we'll be the winners when we're still going in December.<br />
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I have been in denial of my Celiac disease since last June. After fighting for a diagnosis, I then ignored it. Why? Because that's the kind of nut ball I am.<br />
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I did really well for about a week - sound familiar, resolution people?<br />
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Then I missed Fast Food and Pizza and told myself it was ok. If I choose to feel like crap, then it's different. It's my decision.<br />
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I have progressively gotten worse (Duh) and am now to the point that my whole body is completely out of whack. I will spare you the details of my psychotic thyroid or old lady ovaries, but suffice it to say I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.<br />
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Celiac runs in families. Being sure that Sophia already has symptoms, and the other children could at any time, our whole family is going gluten-free. Jacob is being a good sport about it, declaring that he will be eating as much gluten as possible while away from the house.<br />
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A friend loaned me 'Gluten Free on a Shoestring' and for the first time since my diagnosis, I felt like I could actually do this and not go broke. That I could feed a family of seven and not have to work 4 jobs. Seriously, I have never been so excited to make food from scratch. If you are GF and have not heard of this book, please, <a href="http://www.glutenfreeonashoestring.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">go to her blog now</a>.<br />
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Armed with my newfound ambition and desire to not vomit my meals, I shopped completely GF for the first time yesterday. I was so happy with all of the things I was able to buy, and all of the like-normal things I am going to be able to cook for my family. <br />
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I am also really hoping to get back on a healthier path of eating with my new diet. I haven't gained much weight back, but I haven't lost any since before the holidays. And by holidays, I mean Halloween. Stupid mini candy bars.<br />
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Lastly, we are hoping to get on a solid path towards becoming debt free within the next couple of years. Of course, I would love it to be sooner, but we are trying to be realistic. We have looked into the Dave Ramsey program and are still considering the best tools to use. It is going to be hard. Having a large family in this economy wasn't easy to start with. I am confident that if we pull up our big girl and big boy pants high enough, we can put a good dent in our debt and learn to be more responsible with our money.<br />
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So there you have it. For someone who doesn't "do" resolutions, I just made three. <br />
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Fat Free, Debt Free and Gluten Free. See you in December, losers!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-69443013017573316742012-12-28T16:15:00.003-05:002012-12-28T16:20:12.609-05:00Merry Christmas!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #38761d;">Jacob, Kendra, Sophia, Simeon, Alice, Luci, and Charlie</span><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcmWHZ1xfwXvUaOPttGQytUbDjtRNmeeVYkRYsl3kPldXjSjWUe4ERkq7XK3YYvwwADIiWPGfce4jFsOzIEASoD8H5nJsZW8ZKbZL-QQY0_dFt7nOwDjW8jyKONqfpeP8o9sbzlLvNeJo/s1600/ChristmasFamily2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcmWHZ1xfwXvUaOPttGQytUbDjtRNmeeVYkRYsl3kPldXjSjWUe4ERkq7XK3YYvwwADIiWPGfce4jFsOzIEASoD8H5nJsZW8ZKbZL-QQY0_dFt7nOwDjW8jyKONqfpeP8o9sbzlLvNeJo/s400/ChristmasFamily2012.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lots of Bowlings!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUG9tb53Wb0Bc3VMtdajZp9W6mPeVjVEzoVh5qG6XSzc-smhVU2rE9roRmIybFLj373RVkgQLViEF3Ne-TIw65Ieg24STkFtBa7FeXae1Ijkln4zPVnYqtaq4pwPW-w6RF92sfHDpHK4Y/s1600/BowlingChristmas2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUG9tb53Wb0Bc3VMtdajZp9W6mPeVjVEzoVh5qG6XSzc-smhVU2rE9roRmIybFLj373RVkgQLViEF3Ne-TIw65Ieg24STkFtBa7FeXae1Ijkln4zPVnYqtaq4pwPW-w6RF92sfHDpHK4Y/s400/BowlingChristmas2.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <span style="color: #38761d;">And proof that we're not nearly as serious as above portrays...</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtc-zB52NTgXb5nOw4HUf2VUe7pe9bhH9rX3P5rjXjY88t4_gNdDeDE2bvvNO6ZRcMlGuxChi-hVrYSGll1BuTWzYh2F4H6f68WjiO-vw-HhgitouZAgJxmroXf08hIQJHRS2MYGNFEzI/s1600/BowlingChristmasSilly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtc-zB52NTgXb5nOw4HUf2VUe7pe9bhH9rX3P5rjXjY88t4_gNdDeDE2bvvNO6ZRcMlGuxChi-hVrYSGll1BuTWzYh2F4H6f68WjiO-vw-HhgitouZAgJxmroXf08hIQJHRS2MYGNFEzI/s400/BowlingChristmasSilly.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: red;">Merry</span> <span style="color: #38761d;">Christmas</span> <span style="color: red;">from</span> <span style="color: #38761d;">the</span> <span style="color: red;">Bowlings!</span></b></span></div>
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TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-8003722055257508852012-11-16T13:06:00.001-05:002012-11-16T13:06:40.861-05:00Slacker...<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, I am a slacker... sue me. I promise you won't get much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Can you believe the holidays are upon us? Holy crap.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not usually big on holidays. A grinch, some may call me. I am okay with that. I have tried to be better, so that my children will have good memories, but I just really get in a funk this time of year. Hopefully, this year I can come out of that funk and spread holly, jolly cheer and all that other nonsense.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have so many weeks to update that I am not sure I should bother. School is going fine for all. I got accepted into clinicals for January, so I might actually be a nurse some day. At my routine physical, I found out I have an enlarged thyroid, a thyroid cyst, and abnormal hormone levels. (Reason for being a grinch, maybe?) and I have to see endocrine next week to see if I need surgery or not. Based on the rate my neck is growing, I would say I will. Sophia has to go back to the ENT in December to get her ear drum repaired, as her hearing is beginning to become impacted. She also has to go to the eye doctor for some possible glasses. Simeon and Jacob (and the girls) are doing doing great health-wise *knock on wood* </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are going to see 'Seussical' at Footlite sometime in the next couple of weeks and we will also be going to see my niece in 'A Christmas Carol' at the IRT soon. I am pretty excited.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are hosting Thanksgiving, since we are unable to go to the beach this year. The kids are disappointed, but I could go either way. Vacation for 7 is really just a lot of work for mom, so I am okay with staying home and cooking a turkey instead.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I joined the YMCA and Weight Watchers, and have lost 15 pounds so far. With the recent addition of thyroid issues, my celiac is confirmed and I know I will have to get on this gluten-free diet and stick with it. I will probably be at goal a lot sooner since I won't be able to eat anything good.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hoping to revive the blog... I know you're excited. Stay tuned for more...</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-4596098404388900762012-08-09T20:21:00.002-04:002012-08-09T20:38:39.843-04:00<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It is my 10th wedding anniversary tomorrow. Holy crap. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now, I know I said I don't believe in all that "this one day is more special than all the rest" bologna, and that is still true, but holy crap. I have been married 10 freaking years.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The last couple weeks have been a whirl wind of emotions for me, for many different reasons, but this stands out on top. I have had the privilege of being married to my best friend for the last 10 years and I have a feeling it is only getting better from here. We have been through so much. So much. I cannot imagine where I would be without him, or what I would do without him.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I am so, so undeserving of his unconditional love and commitment to me and our children. I am so blessed and thankful to have someone who loves me for me. Who works hard every single day to give us things we need and never, ever complains. Who supports me and encourages me in all that I do. I am the luckiest person I know. I take it all for granted sometimes, and shame on me. I am blessed with this family I have been given. So, so blessed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Becoming his wife was, without a doubt, the best decision I have ever made. Marriage is work. It takes patience and understanding, and lots of commitment, but if you choose the right person and you have all of those things, it never feels like you're working. I look forward to the next 10 years, and the next 10 after that, and the next 10 after that, and the next 10 after that...however long forever is.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-40132033906277643772012-07-27T15:40:00.000-04:002012-07-27T15:40:21.454-04:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmhJRpPG0HVddfWdFpeVF4Om7j9p2eLH1J05A-F93HPMqr4BLTj87Go7gS0wBm9lU8skjhBZhZncz7v64srjpwKLzEbIKOVdMjhZmbIxltk5kKSpoyun25pHcEwnFWNONzn5LKI6rpvJo/s1600/braces_fs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmhJRpPG0HVddfWdFpeVF4Om7j9p2eLH1J05A-F93HPMqr4BLTj87Go7gS0wBm9lU8skjhBZhZncz7v64srjpwKLzEbIKOVdMjhZmbIxltk5kKSpoyun25pHcEwnFWNONzn5LKI6rpvJo/s200/braces_fs.jpg" width="121" /></a>Things I have pondered today:<br />
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Why is no one ever there to answer the phone when I call my dentist? I do not wish to leave a message. I need an appointment. Maybe your secretary should stay there until, you know, the office closes. I wish to talk to a real person. THAT'S WHY I CALLED.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-OUZbF_A7JF6qXXJ18s_YlvS_tUxWHaBGQJCPn8bgXD8Zzm0LyHpsj7Z0abO5CcYXBZC8DEmEu_fny9zhvzcvfKt4ox_oiEufzkPhf3anCzgyAyCtj3Hc-3E0fHXsXZWtfzSzljyhAC0/s1600/dirtykids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-OUZbF_A7JF6qXXJ18s_YlvS_tUxWHaBGQJCPn8bgXD8Zzm0LyHpsj7Z0abO5CcYXBZC8DEmEu_fny9zhvzcvfKt4ox_oiEufzkPhf3anCzgyAyCtj3Hc-3E0fHXsXZWtfzSzljyhAC0/s1600/dirtykids.jpg" /></a>Why do they play super lame elevator music when you are on hold with the water company? I mean, I am sure other companies do this too, but today my beef is with the water company. Mainly, why they insist on "estimating" that my water bill is over $150... um, didn't you hear, there's a ban. We aren't using water. Not even for showering... ok, I lied, but still, we aren't taking $150 worth of baths. Look at my kids. Little dirt balls.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNWoW9BfGkACXb25zCYcpo5X5XqlRY3R3ks32mPhWJ25lARQYoIs0AVCPRgfBn9sdtMx0TFBesiPc_Zff1j3WuWbYgv2PIo8f-JKJMmk8DG_nYOjDHKpMgoFoti6RlLgxyPtRqA9XxrKM/s1600/hungry.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNWoW9BfGkACXb25zCYcpo5X5XqlRY3R3ks32mPhWJ25lARQYoIs0AVCPRgfBn9sdtMx0TFBesiPc_Zff1j3WuWbYgv2PIo8f-JKJMmk8DG_nYOjDHKpMgoFoti6RlLgxyPtRqA9XxrKM/s200/hungry.gif" width="200" /></a><br />
Why do children complain all day long how hungry they are. They cry when you say no to snacks 1,400 times a day. Yet, somehow when you serve meals they aren't interested? Like seriously, how many years of "this is when we eat or don't eat at all" do I have to remain consistent through? I am thinking of building a feeding trough in the kitchen and giving my stove away.<br />
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Why does it cost $10,000 to send 3 kids to school in khaki's and polos with colored pencils and glue sticks. Like for real. We all know that shit is made in China by 5 year olds. Can I just buy it directly from them for the .19 it actually costs? I mean, I don't want to. Child slavery being all wrong and stuff, but damn.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-3567913890682559092012-07-24T15:26:00.001-04:002012-07-24T15:26:39.436-04:00Fluffy Christmas in July @ Housewife Mama<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOcXWUZw2z-6UjfdLeaivfIh2FfzTsvFzn_tGrbq-BbGZFptVKrsLzpzCUW4V-NBwra3em58PrzWQIN1VgV3AmgIFPsf12t2sn7fmlrz2yXuZYVtadAbLDmAqB_kq3kT9xPl4b5dvDgl8/s1600/fcj-pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOcXWUZw2z-6UjfdLeaivfIh2FfzTsvFzn_tGrbq-BbGZFptVKrsLzpzCUW4V-NBwra3em58PrzWQIN1VgV3AmgIFPsf12t2sn7fmlrz2yXuZYVtadAbLDmAqB_kq3kT9xPl4b5dvDgl8/s400/fcj-pic.jpg" width="400" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have you been following Fluffy Christmas in July over at Housewife Mama?!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why not? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://housewifemama.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Head over</a> today and enter to win so much awesome fluff for your little one!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today's <a href="http://housewifemama.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/fish-pond-designs-cloth-trainer-review-and-giveaway-fluffychristmasinjuly/" target="_blank">review and giveaway</a> featured MY cloth training pants. </span></div>
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<a href="http://i939.photobucket.com/albums/ad236/ThePurlQueen/Trainer2T.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://i939.photobucket.com/albums/ad236/ThePurlQueen/Trainer2T.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is very exciting for me as I also got an opportunity this week to be a vendor at the Big Latch-on here in Indy in a couple of weeks! Check out <a href="http://hyenacart.com/fishponddesigns" target="_blank">Fish Pond Designs</a> on Hyena Cart!</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-39484476410619142492012-07-23T13:47:00.003-04:002012-07-23T13:49:51.658-04:00The Big Latch-On: Indianapolis<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZVgP1CltPf03F0Z53-idt2xEFQAR7gZQOsknKOBj_mQikFIBDKLirjUulP-V8tL4hEvOsJDNlW9vxaRBIeuM6DP1nhEbut7yU7-C8KiJumGadiuezT-5j2pSrGrLBIwLz7b1AR_lvPuQ/s1600/latchon.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZVgP1CltPf03F0Z53-idt2xEFQAR7gZQOsknKOBj_mQikFIBDKLirjUulP-V8tL4hEvOsJDNlW9vxaRBIeuM6DP1nhEbut7yU7-C8KiJumGadiuezT-5j2pSrGrLBIwLz7b1AR_lvPuQ/s1600/latchon.png" /></a><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><strong>Calling all breastfeeding mothers!!</strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Join us in Indianapolis for The Big Latch-On 2012!</strong></span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>The Big Latch On is always held during world breastfeeding week, August 1-7th. This year the big latch on will be held on Saturday, August 4, 2012 at the Commonwealth Apartments Gymnasium. 23 N Rural Street, Indianapolis, IN 46201. </strong></span><br />
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Registration is from 9:00-10:15. Come early for refreshments and socializing and the big event will go down at 10:30am. To register as a participant please go to the <a href="http://biglatchonindy.eventbrite.com/" target="_blank">Eventbrite Page</a>!</strong></span></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Arial;">Please bring a blanket or chair to sit on, all children are welcome nursing or not!</span></strong></div>
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<strong><span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Arial;">Check in when you arrive to receive a raffle ticket for prizes from mother-friendly vendors around Indianapolis. Winners will be announced immediately following the event.</span></strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79;"><strong>**Volunteers are needed from 8-11am for set up, registration and clean-up. Please encouraged friends and family to sign-up and help out for this momentous occasion!</strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong><span style="color: #a64d79;">To register as a volunteer please go to the <a href="http://biglatchonindy.eventbrite.com/" target="_blank">Eventbrite page</a>!</span></strong></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79;"><strong>For details about the event please e-mail Erin Polley at</strong> </span><a href="mailto:erinpolley@gmail.com"><span style="background-color: white; color: #a64d79;">erinpolley@gmail.com</span></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>The Big Latch On in Indianapolis is Hosted by </strong></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/215681295134735/permalink/410209772348552/?comment_id=410571522312377&offset=0&total_comments=7#!/indybfusa" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Breastfeeding USA</strong></span></a><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong> </strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>and co-sponsored by the </strong></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/215681295134735/permalink/410209772348552/?comment_id=410571522312377&offset=0&total_comments=7#!/littlegreenbeanboutique" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Little Green Bean Boutique</strong></span></a><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong> and </strong></span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/215681295134735/permalink/410209772348552/?comment_id=410571522312377&offset=0&total_comments=7#!/NurtureIndy" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>Nurture</strong></span></a><span style="color: #a64d79;"><strong>!</strong></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><u><strong>What is The Big Latch on?</strong></u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(from </span><a href="http://www.biglatchon.org/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">biglatchon.org</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Groups of breastfeeding women coming together at registered locations around the world to all latch on their child at a set time. All the breastfeeding women and children are latched on for one minute at the set time and are counted by the witnesses. The numbers are added up and we see if we can beat previous Big Latch On records or maybe even the world record!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The Big Latch On supports communities with identifying and growing opportunities to provide ongoing breastfeeding support and promotion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The key to the Big Latch On's success is allowing communities to hold their Big Latch On events, empowering them to create an event that relates to the people of their community, while still taking part in a worldwide event.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><u>Aims of the Big Latch On</u></span></h4>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Support for communities to identify and grow opportunities to provide ongoing breastfeeding support and promotion.</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Raise awareness of breastfeeding support and knowledge available in communities.</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Help communities positively support breastfeeding in public places.</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Make breastfeeding a normal part of the day-to-day life at a local community level.</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Increase support for women who breastfeed - women are supported by their partners, family and the breastfeeding knowledge that is embedded in their communities.</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Communitiies have the resources to advocate for coordinated appropriate and accessible breastfeeding support service.</span></li>
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<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>About Indy Breastfeeding Moms:</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Indy Breastfeeding Moms is a chapter of Breastfeeding USA (https://breastfeedingusa.org/). The mission of Breastfeeding USA is to provide evidence based breastfeeding information and support, and to promote breastfeeding as the biological and cultural norm. Indy Breastfeeding Moms offers multiple monthly chapter and topics meetings, as well as a playgroup to nursing and pregnant mothers. Our trained Breastfeeding Counselors also provide free breastfeeding support by phone (317-782-5819) or email (</span><span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="mailto:indybfusa@gmail.com" target="_blank">indybfusa@gmail.com</a>).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>Also, it's not too late to register as a volunteer for the Lactation Station at this years Indiana State Fair! I'll be there the morning of August 12th. If you would like to sign up, go to the </em></span><a href="http://lactationstation.eventbrite.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><em>Eventbrite page</em></span></a><span style="color: #0b5394;"><em> for more information!</em></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-82351685262202965632012-07-23T08:00:00.000-04:002012-07-23T08:00:15.735-04:00*REVIEW* - Baltic Amber Necklace<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Somehow I managed to make it through 5 children before having a cranky teether. Charlotte has been teething off and on for a few months. You can always tell when her teeth are bothering her. She turns into a little drooling, crabby, screaming monster. As of today, she has 8 teeth and we have managed to survive this phase of her life. So far she has only had her two front teeth on the bottom, but her behavior leads me to believe they will have company soon.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When she was going through her last tough battle with teeth, I bought a baltic amber necklace from a WAHM business I came across on facebook. I had seen that these teething necklaces were out there, and you would think that my normal hippie-like self would have jumped at something not-so-mainstream. I was skeptical. I didn't know much about them and while I believe in many homeopathic things quite strongly, for some reason, I wasn't sure I wanted to bother with this amber teething necklace business. I was at my wits end with Charlie crying for what seemed like all day when I saw that </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/#!/MyGoodnessCreations" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">MyGoodness Creations</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> was looking for testers for their new necklaces at a reduced rate. I thought, eh, why not?! At that point I was desperate to try anything. We had done Tylenol/Motrin, but it didn't seem to help much and I really needed her to come unglued from my arms.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I agreed to be a tester, I thought at the very least, Charlie would have a pretty cute necklace. All toddlers need cute jewelry right? I looked up all the mumbo jumbo about the necklace. How it has an analgesic that helps to relieve the pain. It isn't actually chewed on, which is what I originally thought. It is just worn against the skin, and is apparently pretty common in Europe. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Charlie's teething crankiness is so off and on that I wasn't sure we had done anything effective by allowing her to wear her necklace. I took it off for a few days, but noticed on Wednesday morning she was very clingy and was crying a lot. She started drooling and gnawing on her fingers and I immediately knew what we were dealing with. After her nap, I grabbed her necklace and placed it back on her neck. I know it sounds crazy, but she was so much easier to deal with for the rest of the day... and the rest of the week. It is not magical. It is not a cure all. Charlie didn't chew on her fingers or anything else for the rest of the day. She was fussy, but not unbearable, and she would play without being held for a lot of the afternoon. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know a lot of people swear by them, and I know a lot of people think they're a crock. I am still in the middle somewhere, mostly because I am having trouble admitting a necklace is helping my teething child. I guess I am not a big a hippie as I thought. I am convinced that the necklace is helping her pain. I haven't given her Tylenol for teething since I bought it. Maybe her pain was worse in the morning that day just because it was worse in the morning or maybe it was better in the afternoon because of the necklace. I can say that I don't entirely believe in random coincidence and since we've had the necklace we've had significant decrease in teething mania. I am impressed with the quality of my necklace from MyGoodness creations. It is seriously, the cutest thing ever. Even Jake has said we need to get her another in a bigger size so she can have one when this one gets too small. He, of course, thinks the "healing property stuff" is nonsense, he just thinks its cute on her. I say I will gladly get another because those two year molars will be hell and I think an amber necklace will bring much relief for us all during that time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are looking for a baltic amber necklace for your teething monster, please check out </span><a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/myGoodnessCreations" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">MyGoodness Creations on Etsy</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/#!/MyGoodnessCreations" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facebook</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">**DISCLAIMER: Please understand that your baby or toddler should only wear her teething necklace during the day, while completely supervised. It can pose a choking hazard should the necklace break or become caught on something. Also, it should never been worn while sleeping. Charlie never wears her necklace unless she is awake and supervised by me. I know some people never take theirs off and quite frankly that scares the hell out of me. Use caution and common sense when using this product.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Also, these comments are my own. I purchased my own necklace and was not given any type of compensation for linking to myGoodness Creations. I just think her product is awesome!</span>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6606439841549271595.post-16835026512612240202012-07-22T22:44:00.000-04:002012-07-22T22:44:42.315-04:00RENT at Footlite MusicalsI got to see my all-time favorite musical this past Thursday with my friend Jessica, (who I don't spend nearly enough time with!) I admittedly, had only ever seen the movie, but had never been given an opportunity to see it on stage.<br />
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Everything is better on stage. Everything. <a href="http://www.footlite.org/57/rent/" target="_blank"> RENT</a> was, in a word: Astounding.<br />
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I thought everyone who was in the show did an excellent, excellent job. Joanne, who is actually one of my least favorite characters, gained mucho points in my book by being played by a woman named Jennifer Rife. Wow. That girl could sing. She was amazing. She had so much confidence and I was blown away by her performance. My favorite character is Collins, who was played by a young man named Jordan Donica. He stole my heart for sure. His voice was absolutely gorgeous. He was wonderful. Angel was played by Damon Clevenger. Oh my. He was rockin' that role. You could just see how much fun he was having and it made me so happy for him to be up there, doing what he obviously loved. Also, I was rather partial to Mark, who I always just think is adorable. Adam Nagy was just as adorable as well. Roger, Maureen, Mimi and Benny were all fabulous too. Gigi Aldrige's (Mimi) rendition of "Without You" had my tears flowing harder than they already were! <br />
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I absolutely love, love, love going to the theatre. As someone who participated in music and theatre in high school a piece of me will always be on stage. Going to musicals takes me to a time when I was the happiest in my life. Takes me to a time when I learned so much about myself. A time when I stepped out of my shell and became the woman I am today. It is a very hard feeling to explain to someone who has never participated in anything like that. Someone who has never been a part of a family like that. <br />
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It also makes me ache to be on the stage again. I could, of course audition to be in a show, but we all know how laughable that is with my schedule and home life. It is nearly impossible. My husband is so loving. When I explained my ache to be up there on the stage he encouraged me to audition for something saying, "if you got a part we could make it work. It would only be for a few weeks, not forever." <br />
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I love him.<br />
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I will be returning to Footlite in late September to see my first ever <a href="http://www.footlite.org/57/rockyhorror/" target="_blank">Rocky Horror Picture Show</a>. My friend Jessica will be in the ensemble and I am stoked! She's my normal theatre buddy, so I will need another.... hint hint.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54487/188/9CC790C6E876E80AC84E01C30F871F31.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>TPQhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02338327225115259990noreply@blogger.com0