Just keep swimming...

Things I have pondered today:



Why is no one ever there to answer the phone when I call my dentist? I do not wish to leave a message. I need an appointment. Maybe your secretary should stay there until, you know, the office closes. I wish to talk to a real person. THAT'S WHY I CALLED.




Why do they play super lame elevator music when you are on hold with the water company? I mean, I am sure other companies do this too, but today my beef is with the water company. Mainly, why they insist on "estimating" that my water bill is over $150... um, didn't you hear, there's a ban. We aren't using water. Not even for showering... ok, I lied, but still, we aren't taking $150 worth of baths. Look at my kids. Little dirt balls.




Why do children complain all day long how hungry they are. They cry when you say no to snacks 1,400 times a day. Yet, somehow when you serve meals they aren't interested? Like seriously, how many years of "this is when we eat or don't eat at all" do I have to remain consistent through? I am thinking of building a feeding trough in the kitchen and giving my stove away.

Why does it cost $10,000 to send 3 kids to school in khaki's and polos with colored pencils and glue sticks. Like for real. We all know that shit is made in China by 5 year olds. Can I just buy it directly from them for the .19 it actually costs? I mean, I don't want to. Child slavery being all wrong and stuff, but damn.