Tuesday, April 17, 2012

College? Why Wait?

I live my life in a backwards fashion. Jacob and I got married when we were 18, only a couple of months after graduation. I went back to school after Simeon was born. Took several years, and several more children, to get my associates degree. Now I am in the big time. Getting my BSN. Living it up on a real university campus. Sort of. 

Anyway, I have taken the liberty to discuss the top 5 reasons you should go to college after beginning your life as a married mother of 5.

1. The look on your 19 year old classmates face when they find out you have been married almost 10 years and have 5 children is positively priceless. The dumb questions that follow, also hilarious.

2. If they find out how much experience you have with sidewalk chalk, they might put you in charge of writing all the sidewalk messages around campus. Of course, you're never actually on campus, so you probably don't have any friends there. You know, forget that. You likely won't be in charge of anything.

3. You're usually up all night with your infant who never sleeps anyway, so pulling those all night study sessions is a piece o'cake. Sleep? Pfffttt! Who needs sleep?

4. Two words. Dining Hall. You are much more appreciative of someone working their ass off to cook your meals when you are doing it for 6 other people every damn day. I think I already gained like 3 Freshman 15's.

5. Don't feel like getting dressed, or the more likely, didn't have time to do your own laundry? No problem! University is the only place on earth besides Wal-Mart that it is acceptable to wear pink or purple flannel pajama bottoms with words written across the ass. I haven't actually done this, but if I ever have to take another 8am class, I believe I won't be able to help myself.

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