It has been a week since my dad's memorial service, almost 2 since he died. In some ways it feels like we were just there yesterday, and in some ways it feels like it has been months. I still haven't been able to sleep. That has been especially fun the last three days that I have had to go to work. I have switched from hidden crying to random tears. I think I am doing well at getting through the day, but it is taking all the strength I have to make it smiling. I am pretty sure that if I didn't have my kids I would have fallen apart by now. They need me though, and I can't lay around and pretend like life isn't happening around me. It's not for lack of trying though, trust me.
I know that each day will pass and I suppose it gets easier, but right now it still sucks and I hate that I have to wake up each day and live life and pretend like I am not still sad, and not still pissed off, and not still in pain over the last few weeks.