Saturday, June 19, 2010

life at the moment

A few weeks down, and a few more to go. School seems like it is happening around me. My medical-computer-whatever class is a hybrid, so I have only had to actually go 2 of the 4 weeks. Pharmacology is really interesting, but incredibly fast paced during the summer. It doesn't seem nearly as hard as everyone makes it out to be, and I wonder if I should have taken it in the fall at the full 16 weeks. Maybe I am just missing how hard it is. Maybe I am just too brilliant and don't notice that it's supposed to be hard. At any rate I'll be done with these two in 6 weeks and that much closer to the light at the end of the tunnel.

At the moment I am trying hard to understand life. The turns and trials. The leaps and bounds and never ending paths of unknowingness. I'm not sure that's a word, but right now, I am not really sure of anything. True heartbreak is a hard emotion to deal with. Especially when you don't deal with things well in the first place. --Typing and erasing, typing and erasing. That's how much of this blog is going. I don't want to share, but in a few days I will be whole again, with a tiny piece of understanding for others in the world. Able to be sympathetic in ways I could only show empathy for before. Able to understand that even though I don't understand, that's okay. He has a plan and this wasn't in it. The sun will still rise tomorrow and the next day too. I will rise knowing something I didn't before, and that's not always a bad thing.

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