I have decided to give up soda. This may seem like an easy feat for some, but anyone who truely knows me... well they know how much Mountain Dew I can consume in a single day. I finally can say how pathetic it is and I am done. I am so unhappy with the way that I look. Four kids or not, I am fat and I am tired of it. "Oh you're not fat." That's crap. "Oh I weigh way more that that." AND you're how much taller than me. I am 4' 11" and I weigh 167 pounds. When you are short there is no where for it to go but out. Could it be worse, yes. Is there a lot of room for improvement? Absolutely! I am tired of wearing only pants that have elastic waists. I don't even know what size I am because I don't own a pair of pants that really fit. The holidays are going to be hard. I am not going to give up on everything right now, because it's asking to fail. I am going to start down this road and force myself to have some control. After Luci turns one in January, I will begin to wean her and begin a serious weight loss path. Last year before I was pregnant I lost a lot of weight when I tried. I am sure I can do it again. I need everyone I know to hold me accountable. No more jokes, no more fun. I am fat and unhealthy and if I don't stop it now, where will I be in 5 years?
I hope to use this as an outlet for my frustrations and grumpiness as the caffeine withdrawals begin. I am on day 2 and already proud. I am apologizing now for anything I may do or say during this hard time in my life. :-)