Some days just suck

Today was a day filled with much gloominess. Besides the fact that it kept raining on and off, it seemed as if everyone I talked to had something bad to tell me. We had an inspection at the daycare, which makes you feel like any minute they're going to come into the room and rip you a new one. Of course they never do, but it's the feeling. I can't be comfortable again until they're gone. It's like having your teacher look over your shoulder while you're taking a test. Pressure. Ugh. We were short staffed because one teacher has made an effort not to join us at least one day a week, two had a family emergency, and another had to leave early when her baby ran a fever. I stayed late, which I am beginning to be okay with. I was with the one year olds, and they are pretty easy really.

Our friend Thoko is from Zimbabwe and all of her family still lives there. It's terrible because she cannot go to see them or anything because she will not be allowed back into the country if she leaves. She's in a mess with her visa because our government is a bunch of screw ups who like to make everything difficult and if she steps one foot out of the border she won't be able to come back. Her daughter was born on the same day as my Sophia. In this country, mind you. It no longer matters. We are so concerned with keeping illegal aliens out that her life here has become a mess. She, and many like her, don't deserve it. She came here to be with her husband who promptly left her for another woman. In this country they are not married and there is nothing she can do to prove they are. He does not pay for his daughter and without a visa she cannot get work. I don't know the ins and outs of it all, but it makes me so sad for her. People in her country are dying every second. They have nothing and they are dying. She is here to have a better life for her and her little girl and instead the government treats them the same as the terroists and whatever else we are supposed to be fearing each day. The whole point of this was to say that she found out today that her mother is missing. She struggles with her mental status and they do not know where she is. It is feared that the government came and removed her from the home, but they're not sure. Thoko can do nothing because she is not there and cannot be there. I cannot imagine what this woman struggles with and she is so strong. She amazes me each and everyday. She does what she has to do to make it and it really brings things in perspective sometimes. Please pray for Thoko and her mother and their whole family as they go through this horrible ordeal.

We also found out that a girl from our church who was 26 weeks pregnant had her baby boy this morning. She had been in the hospital for the last couple of weeks because she had preterm membrane rupture. Logan was born around 1 this morning, he was a single pound, 12" long. They knew that he was struggling for his life. At around 2 this afternoon they made the decision to take him off of the life support machines and let him die in peace with his family. It's a really, really sucky situation for their family. This baby did not deserve any of the pain that came with his birth and his death, but he also did not deserve any of the pains that would have come with his life. I think sometimes God just knows what he is doing. I can't help but think of little Hazel though. She would have been due next week, one year ago. I cannot believe she has been gone a year. I think about her so often. What she would look like, what she'd be doing. Curly reddish brown curls. Maybe walking around with chubby little thighs. She'd be beautiful. She was beautiful. She will always be beautiful.